When I found out I was expecting twins, I wasn’t sure how that news would go over with our then 18-month-old daughter, Grace. The thought of introducing a new baby into the already hectic mix of our everyday life of a family of three was scary. Adding two more? It seemed crazy!

I had so many questions racing through my mind! Had we waited long enough? Was our house ready for the upheaval of infant-life again? How would she react to Mama not being as physically active with her? What would she do once she met these new babies?

I know now in hindsight (fifteen long and glorious months of hindsight) that I was being absurd, but the concerns were real, and they shaped how we eventually shared the news with Grace.

Our pediatrician has always been a matter-of-fact, strong, and supportive caregiver of Grace. He saw her, and maybe even as importantly, us, through a rocky premature start, fraught with jaundice, lack of weight gain, and colic. At one of our last appointments with a solo Grace, he shared with me some of the wisest words I had ever heard spoken on the subject of siblings. He said that siblings were the best gift we could give our child. That we should never feel sorry for the fact that she would no longer be an only child. She would adapt as easily to her new life as a big sister as we would allow her, no looking back. It was then that I realized that telling Grace about our new addition to the family was harder on us than it was on her.

I was so thankful for the clear-headed and reasonable advice that I nearly cried. I sat with Grace a few days later and read her a children’s book on having younger siblings.  Grace was overjoyed, and so were we.

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Before I even thought of getting pregnant, I knew that when the day came I wanted to surprise my husband with the news in a cute and original way. However, that’s not exactly the way it played out – with either of my pregnancy announcements!

We had only been trying for a month when I became pregnant the first time, and I was completely caught off guard. After a bad workout and some helpful advice from my sister, I decided to take an at-home test. On my way from the store – test in hand -- I called my husband to come home right away. My message must have had him concerned, because he made it in record time!

When he walked in, I had already taken the test but couldn't muster up the courage to check it myself. I'll never forget him saying "Are you serious?" when I asked him to take the first peek. He sat beside me for a second, as if to let it all sink in, and then with a flash, he jumped up and said, "Let's do this". Once he took a look, he immediately began celebrating like he won the Super Bowl – I knew then that we were pregnant!

When the opportunity rolled around for my second chance, I once again dropped the ball when it came to a cute and original pregnancy announcement for my husband. After several months of trying, I was having trouble getting pregnant. I had seen my doctor, and after some testing, he felt I had a good chance of getting pregnant in the following month. So it really wasn't a surprise to my husband when I told him I was going to take a test. After six months of getting negative results, I didn't want to find out alone. And just like before, we sat for what felt like an eternity, until the timer went off.  For the second time, my husband checked the test first, it was positive! We had done it again.

In hindsight, it wasn't the most creative way to make a pregnancy announcement, but it was perfect for us. Being pregnant in itself is one of life's greatest surprises, and I'm glad I got to share that moment with my husband.

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Ah, the second pregnancy. Hindsight is always 20/20, right? By the time my second baby boy arrived, I knew what I really needed. And believe me, it wasn't a play yard and swing in matching blue plaid.

Trouble is -- and my veteran mom pals agree -- it feels weird to ask for the stuff we really want, as most of it seems...un-gifty and utilitarian. In other words, not fun for the gifter to give. 

So I kept mum and got another car seat I didn't need, picture frames, and a crib from my in-laws. Yes, that was generous, but, the first crib is not even three years old. So, if you have a friend who's expecting her second baby, don't wait for her to tell you what she'd like. She almost certainly won't. Go on and pick from this list of can't-fail ideas. You're sure to hear "How did you know?!"

A baby book: If you don't buy it, the poor wee one may have no record of his milestones. We all know how it goes: Every hiccup the first makes is recorded, while the second one, well, his baby book consists of his hospital picture and bracelet in an envelope. Better still: Tell the mom that if she doesn't have time to fill out the book, she can jot things down on a pad or a wall calendar. Then you can come over once a month and transfer the information in your prettiest script. That would honestly make for a pretty stellar new mom gift.

Diapers and wipes: Trust me -- you can never have enough. No, it's not the prettiest new mom gift, but I promise you, it will be the most welcome one. Also in this category are items that run out or wear out quickly, such as nursing supplies, burp cloths, batteries for gear, and baby wash. 

Babysitting services: Not for a night out, necessarily, but if you offer to come over and watch the second baby, so the mom can have some alone time with number one, she’ll be forever grateful.

Clothes: But only in two scenarios: If the second baby is a different gender from the big sib, or same-gender babies born in different seasons. When my second son was born, I got virtually nil in the way of clothes, as everyone figured I had plenty of hand-me-downs. Trouble was, my first guy was born in July. The second came in January, so his brother's first wardrobe was of little use the second time around.

Gift cards for takeout: Being able to order in without worrying about your budget is a new mom gift like no other. Especially when it's 6:30 p.m., hubby is working late, and it's baby's "witching hour." 

Sprinkling of wisdom book: Want to give a new mom gift with a personal touch? Buy a beautiful journal, and have friends and relatives write their best hard-won advice for the second baby to use throughout his or her life. This will be treasured, and it is an especially cute idea if the second-time mom is having a "sprinkle" instead of a full-blown shower.

A new purse: Make it a roomy, chic purse with plenty of pockets. A mom will almost certainly be over carrying a purse and a diaper bag after her second pregnancy. Do her a favor and invest in a gorgeous bag she can stash supplies in now, and still love when diaper days are finally done.

A gift card for a sibling day out: Instead of just a new mom gift, give the entire new family an afternoon at a local children's museum, bounce-house emporium or baby exercise class. Mom will appreciate being able to sit and (relatively) relax with the second baby while her older child is happily occupied. It'll be a great treat for all of them.

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Right before taking the third pregnancy test I called a girlfriend from high school. We hadn’t talked in years, but she was the only person I could think of who recently had a baby. She laughed while saying, “You only need one test to tell you that your life just changed forever.” She was right, but I didn’t believe the first one, the second one made me smile, and I wanted my partner, Jay, to be with me for the third.

I was 26, living in Brooklyn NY, in a tiny apartment with Jay (and two other roommates, because that’s what we could afford). We lived the lives people in their late 20’s lived -- not particularly kid-friendly. However, having been together three years, we had talked about children and decided that in another three years, we would move to Cape Cod, where he grew up, and start growing a family. Only three years turned into three months, since all three pregnancy tests came up positive.

Even though it was a surprise when I found out I was going to be a new mom, I wasn’t shocked to be expecting. I was never the type to mark my calendar; I just knew my period would start at some point. I had a regular visit to my doctor scheduled for February 13^th, but a feeling struck me on January 10^th, and I couldn’t wait. I had this feeling before, but it usually calmed with a test, and then often, tampon purchases the next day. Only this time, I used all three pregnancy tests, and my happiness grew with each positive sign.

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As soon as our families and friends found out my wife and I were expecting two bundles of joy, the planning of baby showers began. Throughout all of the showers (we had four!), we were blessed with various gifts that were great not only for our daughters, but also for the new mom and new dad. 

A few specifically, though, stuck out as ones that would really help me in my newfound fatherhood.

An Awesome Book
Books that help new dads prep for their babies are a great gift idea; the books are useful before the baby arrives, as well as afterwards as a point of reference. When we were waiting for our twins to be born, we were given one in particular that really helped us get ready to have two new little ones in our house.

An Extra Loud Alarm Clock
I got this gift at one of our first showers, and it was supposed to simulate a baby crying in the night. Since I’m such a deep sleeper, I wasn’t sure it would work on me. However, once the alarm went off, I shot right out of bed. This was an extremely beneficial new dad gift during the early weeks and months that the girls were not sleeping through the night.

A Mini Video Camera

We got this gift at a shower, and we used it to chronicle my wife’s pregnancy, as well as our time in the hospital and all of the special moments since. What we love about our specific camera is that it’s small enough to fit in our pockets, and it can be quickly plugged into a computer to upload videos. What’s even better is that, as a new dad, all I want to do is share these great memories with our daughters throughout the years with friends and family, and now, we can do that.

The Gift of Advice
I think this can be said for parents of multiples or singletons: You have to find what works for your family. Regardless of what all the “expert” books say, you have to find a system that is right for your house. Factors like the number of hours worked by the parent(s), available babysitters, and other daily tasks can impact whether or not your baby or babies need to be on a set schedule. Some helpful new dad advice I received from other parents of multiples included feeding both babies at night, even when only one of them woke up originally. In terms of toys and swings and walkers, we didn’t necessarily need two of every item. Instead, we were advised to wait to see if both babies enjoyed the toy before buying two. Practical advice from a been-there-done-that dad is one of the best new dad gifts you can give.

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