Birth Stories: Delivering Twins

When I was pregnant, we decided to leave the sex of our babies a surprise -- that’s right, I said babies, as in more than one! My husband and I were expecting twins! My birth story was one I will never forget. I found out a couple days before my delivery day that both babies were breech. That meant, that a C-section was a must, so my doctors scheduled one for December 26, 2012.

I was on bed rest for three weeks prior to my delivery. Really, the only time I was allowed to get up each day was to go to the bathroom. Thank goodness it was close to Christmas and lots of holiday movies were on television. On December 18th, I had an appointment to see how the babies were doing. My doctor checked me out and told me I was dilated 6 cm. She left to call the high-risk doctor we had been seeing for the twins, too.

I was thinking, “I bet we are having a C-section in a day or two.” My doctor walked back in the room and said these words, “We are going to have a birthday party at 7:30 tonight!” I was so shocked -- and excited!

Everything went pretty fast from that point forward. I remember thinking this date was going to be their birthday! Ready or not, this was it; I would be delivering twins tonight! When my husband arrived at the hospital with our bags, I thought, “This is real!” He had such an excited look on his face and I was at ease knowing he was there with me.

Pretty quickly, our family started showing up. The nurses and doctor prepped me and explained what was going to happen, all while monitoring the babies. I kept looking at the monitors, praying that the babies were healthy, strong, and ready to be born four weeks early.

In the operating room, it was freezing and kind of scary, everything was so stark white. However, I loved my doctor and knew I was in good hands. Soon enough, the surgery began, and I just kept looking at my husband wondering what was going on behind the sheet. All of a sudden they said, “Here is the first one…it’s a girl!” Oh my gosh, I thought, a girl! Wow! A minute later, which felt like forever, they said, “It’s another girl!” I was shocked and so was my husband! Not knowing for eight months and then we knew -- two girls! How amazing and blessed we are! Both girls were healthy and beautiful. From that day on, our lives have been the best they could ever be.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Baby Milestones: First Hand Grasp

My daughter Paloma’s first hours on earth were obviously filled with a lot of baby milestones. First breath, first cry, first feeding.

But I never anticipated that her first hand-grasp would come less than an hour after she was born.

Yet, when the nurse went to listen to her heartbeat, Paloma reached out and grabbed onto the stethoscope with her baby hand, refusing to let go. The nurse was surprised not only at our new baby’s hand-eye coordination, but at the strength of Paloma’s grasp. Turns out, her first baby milestones were coming fast and swift!

The nurse went on to tell us that Paloma’s firm grip -- one of the first steps in her long list of growing baby developments -- was a sign of her intelligence. Looking back, I’m guessing she probably says that about every newborn, but at that moment, my husband and I absolutely believed her. Whatever nice thing someone says about your baby right after she’s born, you are 100 percent the proud parent.

But for me, that hand-grasp was more than just a baby milestone; it’s a moment I remember, because it really showed Paloma’s personality -- a personality that, as a mother, I had already experienced. Even in utero, I felt that she was a really feisty baby. She was very stubborn and very aware of what she wanted. Her strong baby hand grabbing the stethoscope was the perfect illustration of that: Paloma was not just going to lie there helplessly while someone put a cold, metal stethoscope on her chest. She stopped it. Even though she was brand new to this world, I remember thinking “of course Paloma would do that.” I had this experience of knowing her before I ever met her, which was so special, and meant more to me than anything that had to do with baby development.

In theory, I suppose it could have just been a reflex or a fluke. But I don’t think that was the case. Paloma continued to demonstrate her strong grasp -- and oh so many more baby milestones -- from day one. Once my husband and I saw her grab the stethoscope, we’d hold out our fingers for her baby hand to squeeze. It’s not quite holding hands, but it was a wonderful way for us to bond with our baby right from the start.

Photo by Aditya Romansa on Unsplash

A New Mom’s Favorite Memories

There were a lot of things that people told me to try to help me prepare for my first baby. However, the one thing no one told me was how, in the midst of my most exhausting times, would come some of my favorite moments.

Like any new mom, it took a while for me to get into the swing of things. The exhaustion of nursing multiple times at night threw me off at first, but slowly it dawned on me -- those late-night feedings were actually moments I was coming to treasure with my baby. I would head into his nursery late at night when I heard him start to cry. In the darkness, I would come around the crib from where he couldn’t see me, and when he would finally see me, the biggest smile would come across his face.

Then I’d pick up my baby and nurse him, holding him tightly, just him and me. There are no interruptions, no distractions; it’s just the two of us, together. Something about the quiet of the night (once he stops crying!) is soothing to both of us. In those moments I feel so proud and blessed. I love having that quiet time to bond and reflect on how much he’s grown.

Another one of my favorite moments is sort of a double-edged sword for me. As a working mom, I miss my son so much when I’m not around him, and I look forward to coming home to him every day. The silver lining of my working, though, is that on those days when I’m away from home a long time, when I finally do come home, when I walk into the room and Rory sees me, he gives me the biggest smile. He looks at me as if he doesn’t want to close his eyes because he’s afraid if he does, I’d be gone again. It’s heartwarming to me that my baby is physically showing me how much he missed me. Whenever I come home after being away, I love to experience his reaction. Of course baby bath time and whenever he laughs are always favorite moments of mine, too, but there’s nothing like watching him try to learn something and reach new baby milestones. Recently he’s been grabbing his feet, and before that he learned how to transfer a toy or his pacifier between his hands.

He’s always so proud of himself when he can accomplish these things. Now he’ll grab his feet and look over at me to see if I was watching. I always clap, and he giggles, kicks his legs, and tries again. Those moments, to me, are priceless.

Whatever the moment is, I do my best to recognize and savor it. These are the amazing memories with my baby that I’ll keep with me forever.

Photo by Raul Angel on Unsplash

Baby Name Meanings: Why We Chose Henry

When my baby was born, the midwife placed him immediately on my chest. I looked down at my squirming, crying child and waited for my husband to say, "It's a boy!" His announcement wasn't just for show; we had decided to wait to find out our baby's sex until birth.

Waiting was a great decision, but it did add a layer of complexity to picking out a baby name. It seemed so hard to come up with a name when we didn't know the most basic thing about our child. Plus, I have some weird ‘quirks’ about baby names.

I despise unique names, as well as names that are commonly made into nicknames. I also have a rule that baby names should sound great with "Mr. President" (I have high hopes for my kids!).

We eventually picked a girl’s name but couldn’t settle on a boy’s name. Of course, that meant we had a boy!

Our son remained nameless for the first twelve hours of his life. We had a short list of boy names, and prior to birth, we heavily favored Jack. But our baby didn't look like a Jack. Our baby was small and had creamy skin and light hair; I pictured a Jack baby being dark-haired and tough.

So I put out a call on Facebook: "We can't decide what to name the baby! Any ideas?" One friend, Jude, suggested we name him Jude; "Guys named Jude are handsome, smart, and popular!" he joked. My husband looked up from his phone and said, "You know what? I actually really like Jude." I thought it went nicely with our last name, but then, I turned to my son and said, "Hey, Jude..." and promptly nixed the idea for fear he'd never hear the end of the popular Beatles song.

We settled on Henry Boyle. Doesn’t "Henry Boyle, President of the United States" sound nice? His middle name is my husband's name. A year and a half later, my Henry has turned into a spunky, strong fellow that totally could've been a Jack. Although I think Henry suits him quite well, he's the embodiment of everything I thought a Jack would be like.

Oh, well! At least we know what we'll name our next baby if it's a boy!

Photo by Felipe Salgado on Unsplash

New Dad Baby Care Tips

The pride and joy I felt at the birth of my daughter, Isabel, was enormous. She was dark-haired and lovely, a wiggly 8 pounds and 9 ounces, with off-the-charts Apgar scores (an assessment of newborn well-being) -- already so brilliant! Yet once we arrived home from the hospital, insecurity replaced these positive feelings on newfound fatherhood.

I wanted to know how to be a good father, but I really had no idea what I was doing. Fortunately, with some trial and error, I was able to take care of my new baby, be of use to my wife, and even become the go-to guy for many tasks.

I was a massage pro when my wife was expecting, rubbing her neck, shoulders, and feet whenever she was achy. So transferring this small talent over to Isabel was the natural next step. Baby massage has been shown to help tots eat and sleep better and reduce stress; it's also an excellent way for new dads to become closer to their babies. I’d give Isabel a massage using baby-safe oil whenever she was fussy, or before bedtime, or just when I wanted to bond with her (which was often!).

After endless breastfeeding sessions, my wife was often too tired to coax a burp or two out of Isabel. I became the "Burp Whisperer," jiggling, patting, and rocking her until the air came up. While I may have been a pro burper, I’m no professional crooner, but Isabel didn’t seem to mind. In fact, I found that when I sang, the vibration of my Adam’s apple on her head helped lull her to sleep. Jazz, top 40 tunes, even songs I made up on the spot seemed to be music to her ears, and singing to her became a nice bedtime ritual for the two of us.

I quickly discovered that changing a baby’s diaper on a high table is pretty scary -- and potentially unsafe. Whether we were at home or out and about, I found it was much easier for me to set up a station on the floor using a diaper pad. If I needed to take my hand off Isabel to wrestle with the wipes or cream, she was secure on the carpet.

One other thing I learned as a new dad: Your baby will grow up fast and you’ll miss these bonding experiences later on. My biggest tip on early fatherhood: Don’t look at baby care as a chore, but instead as something sweet and exciting. You’ll remember these times fondly for years to come.

Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash