Pregnancy for me was fairly uneventful, aside from the exciting little fact of carrying my soon-to-be new son, of course. But uneventful in that my appointments were routine, I physically and emotionally felt good, exercised occasionally, and had no major hiccups -- just the tiny ones I felt in my belly.

It wasn’t until about three weeks before delivery that I noticed I couldn’t feel my son, Jacob, kicking as much. As any expectant mom knows, this can be alarming. I visited the hospital a few times to be placed on monitors, but from what myself and the doctors could tell, everything seemed to be fine. He was still moving and shaking, and I was not given any restrictions, nor was I placed on bed rest. This was around the 27 week mark.

It was exactly 30 weeks when my water broke in the middle of the night. At the time I was very nervous, but oddly, I was more excited to have the baby. I didn’t comprehend just how early it still was in my pregnancy, and thought the 30 week mark might not be that bad.

Despite my water having broke, the nurses were not sure I was in labor. It quickly became real when the contractions started. When I asked for pain medication, they checked me and realized I was already nine centimeters dilated -- there was no turning back. I was rushed into the delivery room and with just a few pushes, Jacob was born. He was very purple in color, but he was crying. The nurses immediately took him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, NICU, and I started to feel better. Although I still wasn’t prepared for the long road ahead.

An hour or two after my premature birth delivery, I met with the chief of neonatology. That’s when reality began to really sink in. He told my husband and I that our little (and at 3 lbs 12 oz, I mean little) bundle of joy was very sick. Although very concerned, I was in such a fog I was sure things would be fine in the end.

Jacob spent two months in the NICU, trying to gain weight, breathe and feed on his own. When Jacob was first born he needed a lot of medicine, called Surfactant, to help his lungs develop. It took a while for him to breathe properly, but thankfully, he needed no surgeries. To this day, he has no major respiratory complications.

Once Jacob could eat and breathe on his own, which took nearly two months, it was time to take him home. I was beyond ready to start my new life as a mom, as nervous and unsure as I was. It took a while to stop checking his breathing every five minutes, but I’m pretty sure that’s a common practice among all new, hyper-paranoid moms!

Our major concern was a brain bleed that was fairly mild, but we believe has caused the cognitive delays he has to this day. It’s been a tough road raising a child who was born a premature baby. However, we are very lucky that Jacob had such incredible care while he was in the NICU. He required constant monitoring and following up to make sure he was meeting developmental milestones, and today he is a very healthy, sweet boy.

There’s definitely a lot of stigma associated with water births, and because of that, it’s not something I’d initially planned to do. However, I liked the idea of a more natural childbirth, and reading testimonies from other women really made me feel like it was something I wanted to experience. It was through these birth stories that I began to consider a water birth. I’m someone who loves a good hot bath, which seemed like a much more appealing place to give birth than a hospital bed. So my husband and I found a great birthing center run by midwives, who were very supportive of our plan.

When the big day finally came, I was taken to one of the center’s birthing suites. Instead of a traditional hospital room, these suites have big, comfy beds and a massive private bathroom with a really deep tub. They still have all the medical equipment a hospital has -- it’s just tucked away in the closets and drawers, giving the room a homey feel. I also liked the fact that if anything had gone wrong, there was a hospital right across the street, so I felt very safe.

By the time we got to the room, all I wanted to do was get into that tub. My contractions were coming in intense waves, with very little break in between -- once I got in the water, it was almost relaxing. The water is kept at exactly 98.6 degrees, and you’re almost completely submerged. Don’t get me wrong: When those contractions hit, I could still feel a sharp pain -- but all that pressure I was feeling outside the tub all but evaporated. Even better, in between contractions, I could literally just float and rest up for the next push while the midwives made sure everything was okay with me and baby.

After the final push, the midwife put my daughter Paloma right on my chest and placed a warm wash cloth over her back. Unlike most babies, Paloma let out one cry then quieted down, because she was still wet and warm. It was so comforting in the tub that I don’t even think she realized she was out of the womb!

Once we were out of the tub, I was immediately wrapped in a soft robe -- complete with heating packs to make the transition out of the water less jarring -- and tucked into bed. The midwives were able to do all of the normal examinations of both me and the baby right there, then turned off the lights to let my husband, Paloma, and I get some much-needed sleep. We had an on-call button if we needed something, but otherwise, our new family was left alone to bond. 

I’d never try to talk someone into a water birth, but for me, childbirth is something I’ll go through just once or twice in my life, and I wanted to be fully present. A water birth was an ideal way to do so without all the pain of natural labor.

Photo by Alex Hockett on Unsplash

At 38 ½ weeks pregnant, I thought I was as emotionally ready as I would be at 40 weeks. I woke up at 12:30 a.m. feeling … wet. After going to the bathroom, I couldn’t tell if my water broke or not, or if my squished bladder was merely not cooperating again. My husband and I spent 20 minutes rereading our books and searching online “how to tell if your water broke.” The most telling advice I discovered from last-minute online searching: Lay down for 15 to 20 minutes, and if you get up and are leaking a lot (more than a trickle), it’s probably time.

It was good advice, as it turned out my water had broke, which means an immediate visit to labor and delivery to prevent infection to the baby. After a 20-second, in-shock-that-this-was-it panic attack, I ate a bagel, and off we went to the hospital. New mom tip: If possible, eat something before going to the hospital, since once you’re there, the rule is no food allowed.

On the way to the hospital, my contractions started, and over the course of the 17 minute drive, they increased in pain while decreasing in intervals. Once we reached labor and delivery, my contractions had greatly intensified, and no amount of breathing techniques seemed to ease my pain and discomfort. What kept me going was knowing our bundle of joy would enter our world very soon.

I was 2 cm dilated when we first got to the hospital, so I decided to get an epidural to help me through the physical pains of labor. It helped tremendously. I was able to rest and relax, since I knew the next 18 years would be far from restful.

After being examined at 8:30 a.m., my doctor said I would still be a while. But less than an hour later, I was feeling more intense pain and pressure. After receiving additional pain meds, the pressure just intensified. We informed a doctor who examined me again, and couldn’t believe I was 10 cm dilated. I knew to trust my instincts and was right.

At 10:05 a.m., I started to push. It turned into an out-of-body experience. Every possible ounce of energy that my body had stored was used to push, and just when I couldn’t push anymore, my doctor said to push harder. I was told to take a deep breath, and push for 10 seconds at a time. After pushing for what seemed like an eternity, my doctor announced that “this next part is called the ‘ring of fire.’” Note to doctor: Don’t tell a woman in labor she should anticipate feeling a ring of fire. The most surreal part of the experience was the doctor telling me to reach down and touch the top of my baby’s head, which was part extremely bizarre, part extremely fascinating.

Once the head made it through, my baby seemed to swim right out into the world. In total, I pushed for 27 minutes -- a relatively easy delivery -- and the most amazing love of my life was born. She was 6 pounds 9 ounces of perfection. As I held my new child in my arms skin to skin, I could not have ever dreamed up a better feeling.

Photo by Lucy Wolski on Unsplash

A popping sensation woke me up, and as soon as I stood up, there was no denying that my water had broken. Once I cleaned up the mess, I reached for my natural childbirth course notes. My husband and I took a twelve-week class to get ready for childbirth, and the course helped prepare us for what would come -- emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Even though I was a first-time new mom, I felt a deep sense of calm. I felt like I had the knowledge and tools to succeed at my goal of a natural childbirth. I peacefully labored at home for a few hours. I even did the dishes before we left! But the contractions -- and pain -- got worse on the drive to the hospital. Taking slow, deep breaths and repeating a positive mantra helped a lot.

My hospital room had a big tub. Although I was initially hesitant to get into the water, it helped relieve the pain of the natural birth experience so much. My husband also firmly rubbed my lower back, which helped alleviate the tightening sensations. In between contractions, I thought about my body’s progress; I visualized my cervix opening and the baby moving down. I was in the tub for a few hours, and by 3:00 p.m., my midwife wanted me to get out so she could check my progress.

It’s really true -- you will suddenly feel an undeniable urge to push when you’re ready. I pushed for three hours, which isn’t a long time, but it’s certainly getting up there! My energy was waning, and my midwife decided an episiotomy (a surgical incision on the outside of the vagina) would help the baby get out. I’m so glad we took childbirth classes because it helped us make an educated decision. I got the episiotomy, and my baby -- who I discovered was a boy! -- was born two pushes later.

Henry was born a little after 7:30 p.m. He was alert, and his breathing and color were great. Although I was exhausted by the grueling physical process of labor, I was able to really live in the moment. It was incredible, and I will never forget those first few minutes of Henry’s life.

Having a natural birth was a very empowering experience. A woman’s body is truly amazing. It’s undeniable that natural childbirth hurts…but I wouldn’t change a thing, and I plan to do it again for our next baby!

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash