From a Dad’s Eye: Labor and Delivery

My first daughter’s birth was both exciting and routine, with a healthy outcome and an experience that was, of course, personal and unique to me. The run up to the big day was by the book: My wife and I attended birthing classes, went on a hospital tour, and packed our overnight bags -- all with a great sense of anticipation. Here’s how it went down:

Missed the due date: Very few new babies actually arrive when predicted, as due dates are simply an educated guess. Also, many firstborns are late. Our first daughter fit the pattern exactly: Her due date was in late July, but she was born on August 3.

Got our steps in: As the extra days wore on, we decided to follow our regular routine, which included socializing with friends and sticking to our workouts. In fact, we took a very long walk the day before my wife went into labor.

Waited -- and waited: The walk must have done the trick: My wife’s water broke the day before our new baby’s delivery, very early in the day. She spent the next few hours relaxing at home, taking a shower, and reading. I manned the frying pan and made her a wholesome breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast.

Headed to the hospital: Once we arrived at the hospital, our time was spent waiting, reading the newspaper, and talking to family members on the phone. Frankly, when you’re a dad-to-be and so excited to meet your new baby, the birth can feel like a rather long process! And just when the labor seemed to be progressing, it slowed down for a time, so my wife was given a drug to speed the process. It worked!

Pushed -- and pushed! Many hours of labor passed before the pushing phase began. My wife struggled, but our baby would not descend. It was soon determined that our new baby was presenting ‘sunny side up’, rather than face down, and would have to do a kind of baby backbend to exit the birth canal.

Changed course: I learned that it’s important to be flexible when it comes to your new baby’s delivery. In our case, the doctors determined that a C-section was necessary, so we made a quick transfer to an operating room. Our daughter arrived in the wee morning hours, kicking, screaming, and weighing in at a rather large (for a girl) 8 pounds and 9 ounces. She had lots of dark hair, chubby cheeks, and was quite healthy. I know it’s a cliché, but I couldn’t have been more proud.

Looking back at our new baby’s delivery, I wouldn’t change a thing. Of course, you don’t really have an option -- your baby will choose to come out when she’s ready. My tip to all new dads: Arrive at the hospital as prepared as possible, and don’t forget the camera to document those first few special moments with your little one!

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Birth Stories: Preparing to Deliver Multiples

No matter how many baby books you read or doctors you talk to, there’s no such thing as being completely prepared for a pregnancy of multiples -- or any pregnancy, for that matter! As I found out, there are many variables and it’s important to be flexible with your birth plan. When I was expecting twins, I never could have imagined how my labor would pan out. Here’s what I learned from my multiples pregnancy:

I was feeling pretty good when I went to the hospital during my 38th week to deliver my full-term infant sons. I knew that many multiples are born prematurely (or before the 37th week of pregnancy), so I was relieved that my new babies had made it past that date. Ironically, after I had spent a month on bed rest and taken medication to fend off contractions, my little ones seemed to change their minds about coming out, and my labor had to be induced. Because both babies were in the head-down birthing position, my doctor and I agreed that there was no reason I shouldn’t try a vaginal delivery.

As a first-time mom, I didn’t know what to expect during childbirth. Eight hours, one epidural, and countless contractions later, my first son made his appearance. At 5 pounds and 3 ounces, he was small but otherwise healthy. As the nurses and my husband looked him over, my ob-gyn prepared for baby number two. I was exhausted from the first delivery and certainly wasn’t prepared for what came next. My second son’s umbilical cord had slipped through the birth canal ahead of him, a complication called umbilical cord prolapse. A vaginal delivery was no longer an option because it would have pressed the baby against the umbilical cord and cut off his oxygen.

Umbilical cord prolapse happens in about one out of every 300 births and is more likely to occur with multiple babies. Due to the high-risk nature of delivering twins, I was already in a surgical room. Quickly, the doctors and nurses prepped me for an emergency C-section and our second baby was born. Thankfully, he was healthy and didn’t suffer any ill effects from the prolapsed cord.

While I was preparing for the babies’ arrival, I never imagined that I would experience both forms of childbirth. But if you plan to deliver twins vaginally, you should know that a combined delivery (when the first twin is delivered vaginally and the second by C-section) is always a possibility.

Of course, my labor experience with multiples is unique to me. Work with your doctor to prepare as much as possible for your own situation. And if the delivery seems daunting, focus on the positive: You’ll soon get to meet your adorable new babies!

Photo by Amy Humphries on Unsplash

Baby Milestones Remembered: First Laugh

Before I became a mother, I always thought a laughing baby was the greatest baby milestone, one of the best sounds in the world. You know they’re not faking it (they don’t know how), and it means they are genuinely happy in that moment. And a happy baby equals a happy mommy.

Little did I know the sound of your laughing baby could almost be described as life-changing.

At my in-laws’ house, my daughter was sitting with Grandma when her Pop Pop began laughing. A smile immediately appeared on her face, and next, a laugh. As he continued to laugh, her giggles kept coming -- a joyful sound we had never heard before, a glorious baby milestone. I wasn’t sure if she was merely imitating what she heard or thought it was funny, but I was happy to see her giggling regardless. This was at 3.5 months.

While hearing my baby giggle was a proud and happy moment, I was ready for a real laugh. When she was a little more than 5 months, her first belly laugh was born, which is what I consider to be her first true laugh, and a real baby milestone.

We decided that since she could hold her head up and was doing well sitting unassisted, it was time to try the activity jumper we received. We put her in and turned the music on. Since her feet didn’t yet touch the ground, I knelt beside her and gently bounced her up and down. The belly laughs started to flow freely.

In this moment, she was both discovering a new motion she enjoyed, and experiencing a new world in the activity jumper. I couldn’t stop bouncing her, because I didn’t want the sound of my laughing baby to stop. Along with the laughter, there were squeals of delight and big, open-mouth smiles. So much for baby milestones -- this was pure delight.

For weeks, every time my daughter was placed in the activity jumper, it guaranteed smiles -- at a minimum. The novelty wore off eventually, and we discovered new ways to garner laughs. This included, but was not limited to knocking on doors, tickling under the neck and arms, throwing our heads back and forth, and general silliness.

Although we’ve moved past this baby development milestone, the sound of her laugh will never grow old, and that first belly laugh especially, will stay with me forever.

Photo by Jonnelle Yankovich on Unsplash

Baby Name Meanings: Why We Chose Paloma

Even before I was pregnant, my husband and I knew we wanted to give our baby a name that wasn’t super common and didn’t have any personal connotations for us. I went to an all-girls school, so I’ve heard just about every normal girls’ name; I wanted something different for our daughter.

That being said, we wanted a “real” baby name, not something we’d made up or a word that’s not really used as a name. I really liked to the idea of picking a girl name that’s common in other countries, and “Paloma” certainly fit the bill. It’s very popular in most Spanish-speaking countries and in Hungary, too -- there’s even a popular Spanish folk song called “La Paloma.”

Besides being unique and beautiful, I liked the baby name meaning of Paloma. The name means “dove,” a well-recognized symbol of peace. This meaning would give my daughter a “spirit animal” of sorts, even though it turns out she’s very strong and feisty --not very dove-like at all!

It also wasn’t something I had to go searching through baby name books for: As an art history student, I knew that Picasso’s daughter was named Paloma. Although I didn’t want to pay homage to Picasso per se, I was aware of the name and threw it out there when my husband and I were discussing potential baby names. He really loved it -- not only was it unique, but it sounded really nice with our last name.

At first, I was a little concerned that giving our daughter a Spanish name might seem odd, because we are not of Hispanic heritage. My husband and I both look very Irish. Even so, I liked the idea of giving our baby a name that connected her to other cultures -- and it has: She was playing with a Spanish-speaking little boy while we were waiting to board a plane, and his entire family got so excited when they heard our red-headed toddler was named Paloma. 

As much as we loved our baby name, I don’t think our families were crazy about it at first. My husband’s family is a little more traditional, so I wanted to give them time to get used to a more unique girl name. When we told them we’d decided on Paloma, they were definitely taken aback. However, within weeks, everyone was totally on board, even referring to my baby bump as “Paloma.” Now, I don’t think anyone could imagine our daughter with any name but Paloma!

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash

First Baby Bath

When my daughter, Morgan, turned 7 days old, I noticed that we’ve reached a big baby development milestone-- her umbilical cord stump fell off. Until then, we gave her washcloth baths to avoid getting that area wet.

Under the instruction of her doctor, we knew once her cord fell off that it was safe to give her a tub bath, so I started preparing my baby bath time toolkit. It included:

  • Towel with hoodie to keep her cozy and cute from head to toe
     
  • Gentle baby shampoo and wash for that irresistible clean baby smell
     
  • Washcloth to get inside her fingers, behind the ears, under the neck and in her many folds
     
  • Diaper for immediate coverage, as “accidents” were a regular occurrence

When the time finally arrived, we took off her diaper and laid her in her baby bath seat, where she could be comfortable and supported. Although we knew she was ready for this baby development milestone, there was still a lot to do to keep her safe. To prevent her from becoming cold, we placed a warm washcloth on her belly. I quickly -- but gently -- washed her head to toe while my husband documented the experience. It was certainly a sprint, as I was terrified of her uncontrollable bowels.

Of course we made sure there was still enough time for belly kisses and bath time tunes.

For a baby who was solely capable of lying like a blob all day, I was surprised at the level of grime she had accumulated. This came at the perfect time, since our little one was in desperate need of a bath!

Surprisingly, Morgan loved the water from the minute we put her on her baby bath seat. She seemed to enjoy the gentle massage of the washcloth, and I enjoyed staring in awe at this perfect little person we had welcomed into our lives a week ago.

Once the cleaning mission was accomplished, my husband held his arms with the towel while I lifted Morgan out of the tub. Little did I realize how slippery a wet and wiggly newborn is. Her body felt as though she was given a butter bath, but all 7 pounds of her couldn’t escape my loving hold.

As we wrapped her up and dried her off, I knew we had rocked this baby development milestone, and that our bath time future would involve playful giggles, water kicks, and rubber toys. But for now, belly kisses would do just fine.

Photo by Henley Design Studio on Unsplash