My Premature Baby’s Journey

Pregnancy for me was fairly uneventful, aside from the exciting little fact of carrying my soon-to-be new son, of course. But uneventful in that my appointments were routine, I physically and emotionally felt good, exercised occasionally, and had no major hiccups -- just the tiny ones I felt in my belly.

It wasn’t until about three weeks before delivery that I noticed I couldn’t feel my son, Jacob, kicking as much. As any expectant mom knows, this can be alarming. I visited the hospital a few times to be placed on monitors, but from what myself and the doctors could tell, everything seemed to be fine. He was still moving and shaking, and I was not given any restrictions, nor was I placed on bed rest. This was around the 27 week mark.

It was exactly 30 weeks when my water broke in the middle of the night. At the time I was very nervous, but oddly, I was more excited to have the baby. I didn’t comprehend just how early it still was in my pregnancy, and thought the 30 week mark might not be that bad.

Despite my water having broke, the nurses were not sure I was in labor. It quickly became real when the contractions started. When I asked for pain medication, they checked me and realized I was already nine centimeters dilated -- there was no turning back. I was rushed into the delivery room and with just a few pushes, Jacob was born. He was very purple in color, but he was crying. The nurses immediately took him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, NICU, and I started to feel better. Although I still wasn’t prepared for the long road ahead.

An hour or two after my premature birth delivery, I met with the chief of neonatology. That’s when reality began to really sink in. He told my husband and I that our little (and at 3 lbs 12 oz, I mean little) bundle of joy was very sick. Although very concerned, I was in such a fog I was sure things would be fine in the end.

Jacob spent two months in the NICU, trying to gain weight, breathe and feed on his own. When Jacob was first born he needed a lot of medicine, called Surfactant, to help his lungs develop. It took a while for him to breathe properly, but thankfully, he needed no surgeries. To this day, he has no major respiratory complications.

Once Jacob could eat and breathe on his own, which took nearly two months, it was time to take him home. I was beyond ready to start my new life as a mom, as nervous and unsure as I was. It took a while to stop checking his breathing every five minutes, but I’m pretty sure that’s a common practice among all new, hyper-paranoid moms!

Our major concern was a brain bleed that was fairly mild, but we believe has caused the cognitive delays he has to this day. It’s been a tough road raising a child who was born a premature baby. However, we are very lucky that Jacob had such incredible care while he was in the NICU. He required constant monitoring and following up to make sure he was meeting developmental milestones, and today he is a very healthy, sweet boy.

My Easy Delivery

At 38 ½ weeks pregnant, I thought I was as emotionally ready as I would be at 40 weeks. I woke up at 12:30 a.m. feeling … wet. After going to the bathroom, I couldn’t tell if my water broke or not, or if my squished bladder was merely not cooperating again. My husband and I spent 20 minutes rereading our books and searching online “how to tell if your water broke.” The most telling advice I discovered from last-minute online searching: Lay down for 15 to 20 minutes, and if you get up and are leaking a lot (more than a trickle), it’s probably time.

It was good advice, as it turned out my water had broke, which means an immediate visit to labor and delivery to prevent infection to the baby. After a 20-second, in-shock-that-this-was-it panic attack, I ate a bagel, and off we went to the hospital. New mom tip: If possible, eat something before going to the hospital, since once you’re there, the rule is no food allowed.

On the way to the hospital, my contractions started, and over the course of the 17 minute drive, they increased in pain while decreasing in intervals. Once we reached labor and delivery, my contractions had greatly intensified, and no amount of breathing techniques seemed to ease my pain and discomfort. What kept me going was knowing our bundle of joy would enter our world very soon.

I was 2 cm dilated when we first got to the hospital, so I decided to get an epidural to help me through the physical pains of labor. It helped tremendously. I was able to rest and relax, since I knew the next 18 years would be far from restful.

After being examined at 8:30 a.m., my doctor said I would still be a while. But less than an hour later, I was feeling more intense pain and pressure. After receiving additional pain meds, the pressure just intensified. We informed a doctor who examined me again, and couldn’t believe I was 10 cm dilated. I knew to trust my instincts and was right.

At 10:05 a.m., I started to push. It turned into an out-of-body experience. Every possible ounce of energy that my body had stored was used to push, and just when I couldn’t push anymore, my doctor said to push harder. I was told to take a deep breath, and push for 10 seconds at a time. After pushing for what seemed like an eternity, my doctor announced that “this next part is called the ‘ring of fire.’” Note to doctor: Don’t tell a woman in labor she should anticipate feeling a ring of fire. The most surreal part of the experience was the doctor telling me to reach down and touch the top of my baby’s head, which was part extremely bizarre, part extremely fascinating.

Once the head made it through, my baby seemed to swim right out into the world. In total, I pushed for 27 minutes -- a relatively easy delivery -- and the most amazing love of my life was born. She was 6 pounds 9 ounces of perfection. As I held my new child in my arms skin to skin, I could not have ever dreamed up a better feeling.

Photo by Lucy Wolski on Unsplash

7 Great Gifts for New Moms

For weeks after I gave birth to my little bundle, the generous gifts kept rolling in for her. Without question, for parents whose expenses are about to go through the roof, baby items are a thoughtful and almost necessary gesture. But what about the mother, who is devoting every minute of her day to her new baby?

From my own experience and those of other new moms, here are seven sure-to-please gifts for new moms.

1. Chic diaper bag. Clutches and wristlets will be swapped for oversized totes when a mom welcomes her new baby. But just because she’ll be lugging around everything from wipes and diapers to a change of clothes doesn’t mean she needs to lose her sense of style. The key to a good diaper bag is space and pockets: the more the better, for easy access. Ask what her favorite color or pattern is, and make a custom diaper bag or tote bag for the new mom at online stores. This gift is two-fold: It’ll help her tote all her baby stuff while helping her feel stylish.

2. Spa day. A relaxed, happy and healthy mom equals a relaxed, happy and healthy baby. Offer your babysitting services, and treat a new mom to a few hours at the spa that are just about her. If you think she would have trouble getting out, put together an at-home spa package with stress-relieving lavender lotions, a back massager, and microwaveable cozy booties. Helping her indulge while the baby naps is a fantastic idea.

3. Reading material. This is a particularly useful new mom gift for the breastfeeding mom, as a recent study shows that nursing moms spend an average of six additional hours per week feeding their children than bottle-fed baby. Provide her with your favorite guilty pleasure, or gift her with a useful and fun baby-related book to help her bond further with her little one.

4. Digital photo frames. There’s no question that first-time moms quickly turn into a baby paparazzo. Digital photo frames are the perfect new mom gift for the camera-lover in your life, as it will let them easily display those memorable moments and firsts for all to see, without the need of a printer.

5. Notecards. When you’re deciding on gifts for new moms, consider what’s going on in her life right now. For example, since new moms will be receiving numerous gifts from you and others, why not help them out and buy pretty notecards or thank you cards? There are many online stores that allow personalization, or keep it simple and universal, so they can be used for a variety of occasions.

6. Mommy jewelry. First-time moms are proud of their new title, and proud of their new little one. As such, a great new mom gift idea might be a personalized necklace or charm bracelet with the baby’s initials for special nights out, so her baby is always close to her heart. When the next baby arrives, simply add a charm!

7. Cleaning service for a day. Time is never on a new mom’s side. When it comes to new mom gifts, give her a break by hiring a cleaning service to take care of the dirty work, while she spends time focusing on bigger -- or tinier -- things. This will free her from worrying about the mess while keeping baby healthy. Look for a green or eco-friendly company that uses chemical-free products.

Photo by Mon Petit Chou Photography on Unsplash

The Expectations and Reality of Labor

My son’s birth was both everything and nothing like I imagined -- and trust me, I spent a lot of time thinking about how it would go! I had a strong sense of what the process of childbirth would be like, but when it comes down to it, you have to go through it to really understand it. The pain and joy of labor and childbirth just can’t be explained in a textbook!

Here are three ways that my birth story was different than I expected:

The Pain: I had a natural birth. To prepare myself for childbirth, I took a twelve-week birthing class and read plenty of books. But I was very surprised to discover that childbirth pain is not constant. There are lots of ‘breaks’ in between contractions. I wouldn’t say that these breaks were a cakewalk, but they were a welcomed relief. Towards the end of labor, when I was getting more tired, my body would even ‘skip’ contractions to let me rest and regain my strength.

Feeling Embarrassed: I thought I’d be embarrassed by the ‘bodily functions’ that accompany childbirth. Most women will poop or pee on the table because of the force of pushing the baby out! The idea of that was so mortifying -- until it happened to me. Trust me: You won’t care when you’re delivering your baby!

“I Hate You!”: In the movies, women always scream at their partners things like, “I hate you! How could you do this to me?” My husband was supportive, loving, and always did exactly what I needed him to do during labor. I never once thought, “I hate you!” Instead, I told him over and over again how much I loved and appreciated him.

And here are two ways my birth story was similar to what I expected:

The Pain: Although the pain was different than I expected in that it wasn’t constant, the overall pain level was what I’d imagined. Before birth, I spent a lot of time imagining what the pain would feel like and how I’d handle it, and that helped me a lot.

The Joy: I imagined that the moment my child was born, I’d look at him and feel this overwhelming and intense sense of joy. And I did! My son’s birth was such a spiritual and transforming experience for my husband and me. The emotional high that I got from delivery ran so deep. It really was the best moment of my life.

How to Tell your Hubby You’re Pregnant

I remember being eight, watching an episode of my favorite television show, where the wife tells her husband she’s pregnant, and thinking, “I’m totally going to do something even cuter when I tell my husband I’m having a baby.”  Flash forward to 2011, soon after I started my pinning obsession, I started a hidden “Baby” board where I pinned unbelievably clever ways to make a future pregnancy announcement. 

The time finally came in January 2012 when I could surprise my partner, Jay, by making an “I’m going to be a big sister” dog t-shirt for our pooch. But using a darling method takes time, and I’m terrible at keeping happy secrets; really terrible -- I gave Jay his Christmas gift in November, because I was too excited!

I had to ignore those brilliant ideas swirling around my head and find a way to make my pregnancy announcement to Jay as quickly as possible.  My frantic newly-pregnant mind thought of a number of not-so-great ways to surprise the love of my life with the news that he was now a dad-to-be.  Here are a few of those ideas:

1.    Text him “You’re going to be a Dad!” while he was working.

2.    Leave the pregnancy tests casually out on the bathroom counter.

3.    Play a round of charades in which I badly act out the news

I’m thankful I didn’t do any of those. I did text him to come home right after work, and I spent the rest of the night skirting his questions. As he walked through the door, I awkwardly cut him off just before he reached the bathroom. A twitchy and smiling ball of nerves, I proceeded to stand in front of him as he raised an eyebrow and asked me, “What is going on?” I unintelligibly blurted, “I’m pregnant.” And when he furrowed his brow in confusion, I gestured a round belly and said it a little more clearly.  “You’re what…” he asked, “pregnant?”  Then he gave me one of his fantastic, warm, long, loving hugs.  We sat for a few minutes with silly smirks on our faces, letting the surprise sink in, and then, he said, “Maybe you’ll be able to do something cute with the next pregnancy announcement.”