The Top Four New Mom Gifts

Let’s be realistic: Pregnancy pillows and nursing bras aren’t the most thrilling items on a baby shower registry. Most guests want to get the cute clothes or the fun toys as new mom gifts. Just because a gift is technically a baby item doesn’t mean it won’t help out a new mom. Some of the most useful gifts I’ve received have actually been for my daughter, Paloma.

Favorite Gift #1: Hooded Towels

Unless she wants to do a load of laundry after every bath, you can’t really go wrong with a new mom gift of hooded towels to keep the baby warm and dry from head to toe. It’s nice to always have one that’s clean and ready-to-go. While the smaller towels may look cute, a larger size is more useful, since the baby will be able to use it both right away and as she grows.

Favorite Gift #2: Activity Gym

Babies are supposed to have “tummy time” every day, which can be very boring for both the baby and for new moms. The activity gym was a great new mom gift, because for a while, it was the only toy Paloma needed during tummy time and beyond. Most gyms come with five toys that hang down, which is plenty. There are also plastic rings that make the toys higher or lower, making them easier or more challenging to grab at.

Favorite Gift #3: “Fun” Books

Books are a great baby item in a new mom’s arsenal, whether they’re used to calm the baby down for bed or engage them in playtime. These “fun” books have absolutely stood the test of time. Someone gave us a book that features a finger puppet in different settings on each page. When she was really little, Paloma loved watching us play the part of the puppet. Now, she takes over puppeteering duties and entertains herself.

Favorite Gift #4: Homemade Toys

We know a lot of creative people and have been given handmade baby items from stuffed animals to handmade blocks. Not only do they entertain a new baby, but it’s really nice to be able to say, “someone made this especially for you.” Homemade toys also tend to be simple, meaning they’re something you’ll be able to use for a while -- just be sure that the homemade item is safe for your baby to play with, check for unfinished edges or sharp accents, and confirm it isn’t a potential choking hazard. After all, I still have my favorite stuffed animal from when I was little.

Newborn Photos with the Family

When it comes to taking newborn photos, for me, it was just as important to get some great shots with the whole family as it was to capture some of my favorite moments of just my new son.

In order to make sure I got as many family memories as I could, I came up with the three genre of family photos that I wanted to make sure we tried for. Here is what I decided on:

Recreate the Past: One newborn photo idea that I have always thought was cute was taking a photo of a family member from the time they were a baby and recreating it with your own baby. For instance, there is this photo of my husband from when he was a baby, and he’s on his belly looking at a toy giraffe that’s next to him with this look of determination on his face. Now, Rory makes that same face when he’s looking at stuffed animals, so we’ve tried to recreate the same magic from the original shot. Using an older photo that reminds you of your parents or grandparents or spouse is a nice way to get different generations involved in your newborn photos.

Start a Tradition: I recently  saw a story on TV about a girl who went with her dad to New York City once, they took a photo in front of a building, and they decided to go back every year and take one to showcase how the girl grew from year to year. We decided to take that idea and make it our own. In our house, college football is a big thing, and we plan to take our son to his first tailgate this fall. Our plan is to take Rory to a particular place on campus when we’re there and take a family photo of the three of us. Then we’ll try to go back every year and have an album of it throughout the years. That’s a nice way to see how Rory grows and to keep our whole nuclear family involved in the tradition.

If you can’t think of a tradition that applies to your family, holidays or specific times of year work well, too. For example, my husband’s family goes apple-picking every year, so that would be a nice tradition for us to include Rory for a photo op.

Share and share alike: Today, there are all kinds of websites that allow you to upload and share newborn photos with your entire family, which is a really nice idea, especially for grandparents, aunts, or uncles who might live far away. Most sites allow you to invite visitors to upload photos as well, so you can all share whatever photos of your baby you might happen to have. Another nice way to share photos with the family is through photo baby books, like Pampers Baby Book. That way you can upload all your favorite shots and create a tangible gift for your loved ones.

I like that while some family may live far away, we can still keep Rory connected -- and if it’s through adorable newborn photos of our son, then all the better!

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Mastering the Stay-at-Home Dad Routine

As a stay-at-home dad, I struggle to keep my two children happy while saving the house from the terror these tots can unleash. Many new dads can cut the lawn, fix a lamp, and grill a steak, but it takes a true pioneer to feed, wash, and entertain two girls under age 3. Here’s how I managed it with my two daughters:

Watch your watch. As much as you might want to be the “cool dad” who moves to his own beat and changes direction on a dime, this isn’t going to work for most children. Kids thrive on a regular schedule and expect meals, naps, playtime, and sleep to occur at about the same time each day. To minimize meltdowns, keep a daily routine, and stick to it like clockwork.

Put them to work. No, not stacking firewood in the driveway or handing you nails when you’re on the ladder. Smart stay-at-home dads think smaller -- and easier. Kids love to help sort things by size and color, so when it’s time to fold the laundry, give them a task (“Can you find the matching sock?”). A toddler can also stack books, put toys in a basket, and help empty grocery bags.

Keep it short and sweet. Long outings with endless errands are a recipe for disaster with two young children. Covering a lot of ground will only leave you with a couple of exhausted, hungry, and annoyed little monsters. Instead, set the bar low and only tackle a couple short errands at once.

Don’t forget the surprises. Even the best-laid plans can fall apart and end in tears. Stop the tantrums before they start by keeping some tricks up your sleeve. An ice pop for your toddler, goofy voices for the new baby, or even whipping out a brand new coloring book will work wonders.

Don’t forget to rest. Being a stay-at-home dad to more than one child is exhausting, to say the least. You’ll get burnt out if you don’t slow down the pace every now and then. I suggest stealing some shuteye when your kids go down for a nap or calling in a babysitter so you can catch up on errands without your kids in tow.

Even on the busiest days, I wouldn’t change anything about our routine. Being a stay-at-home dad to our daughters has brought me more joy than I could have ever imagined!

Photo by Derek Owens on Unsplash

My Best Day Ever as a Stay-At-Home Dad

Most people would say that their best day with their child would be the day she was born, her first day of school, or her first recital. Or maybe it's something funny that sticks with you, like the first time you needed to (quickly!) create a shield with the diaper as your newborn son gives you his first "shower."

As a stay-at-home dad, I get to see more of the everyday happiness than my wife. I have the privilege of seeing my daughter's new best friend come over for a play date, help my son learn to ride a bike, or get the first peek at a straight-A report card.

Honestly, though, my best day as a SAHD was nothing like that. I'm the one who is home during the day, so I field all the calls from school. From "your son forgot his lunch" to "your daughter has a fever," I handle any mini-emergencies that crop up during the school day. My favorite moment as a stay-at-home dad was unexpected: My son, Niko, was suspended from school. Yes, you read that right.

I didn't feel that way, though, when I got the call from the principal. I was horrified -- until I heard the whole story. As it turns out, it was the policy of this particular school that all children involved in an "incident," no matter what their involvement was, are suspended. And Niko's involvement was sticking up for his friend who was being bullied. He was trying to do the right thing. And I was so proud, because it would have been far easier for him to avoid that suspension by pretending he didn't see what was happening.

I knew it would have been easier for Niko to keep his head down and just go to his classroom, because that's what I had done. This conversation with the principal reminded me of my own childhood. Decades ago, when a friend of mine was being harassed by a group of bullies, I didn't do anything, because I was scared. I still think about him from time to time.

There have been times when I feel like I mess up as a SAHD, but if I've learned one thing, it's that on this crazy ride of fatherhood, you just have to hold on tight and trust that you are doing more right than wrong. And on that day, I found out I had.

Photo by Natasha Ivanchikhina on Unsplash

Confessions of a SAHD of Three

My name is John. I am a human alarm clock, a firefighter, a peace officer, a cook, a teacher, a husband, a photographer, a chauffeur, and a laundry service. In short, I'm a stay-at-home dad of three.

I wanted one, maybe two kids. If anyone would have told me I'd be a dad of three, I wouldn't have believed them. Who can afford three kids these days? Who has time to take care of three kids? With three, you and your wife are outnumbered. It's mayhem. Not me. Not us -- and that's for sure.

My wife, Christina, wanted the third. She wailed for months about how her life wouldn't be complete without a third. She went so far as to say she had a dream one night that there was another baby sitting up on a cloud somewhere, trying to find her way down to us.

So here I am. At least when they were babies, I could take a nap when they did. I worked when they napped. They didn't complain when I served them strained peas. 

Having my children nearly five years apart means that they are all in different schools and need to be awakened and driven at different times. These days, my life is like the movie Groundhog Day, only four times in a single day.

My daughter, the cloud-sitter, is the most trying in the morning. She tries on three or four outfits before pronouncing them all "horrible." I attempt to watch YouTube videos demonstrating various types of braids, so I can get her hair just right. My efforts usually end in tears -- mine, not hers! I must promise to watch the video while she is in school, so as to get it right the next day. For the next five hours, I squeeze in cleaning up, a shower, working on my photography, grocery shopping, and laundry.

The arrivals home are staggered like the departures. The oldest arrives first, and the homework parade begins. While I am cooking dinner, I hear my daughter screaming that my middle son is in her room, so I need to go make peace. After he complains that he is "bored," he goes in his room to make some kind of electrical project which has on occasion caused him to run out yelling "FIRE!"  While I am putting out the fire, I will hear banging in the backyard, where his brother is building a fort -- with wood he got from my deck. "You said you were going to tear it down someday, right?" he asks, innocently.

When I was in the throes of colic and 2:00 a.m. feedings, I told myself it had to get easier. But now, I see the truth: It was easier when they were babies. It's twice as hard now. Twice -- times three. But you know what? It's also three times the joy, three times the pride, and three times as much love. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Photo by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash